Story Time

Disclaimer: One note could not possibly capture all the nuances of an event such as story time. What you are about to read is like trying to experience Disneyworld by peeking through the fence.

Fast-forward to, oh lets say, the eighth book. I've stood up in a futile attempt to bring storytime to a close - you pat the ground beside you and say, "Sit down, Daddy." Pause. What in the... you're not even two! Ten minutes ago, you pooped in the tub. I can make you think there's a woodpecker in the kitchen by tapping on the table. The overwhelming majority of your vocabulary is a series of pointing, grunting, and whining, but you can pat the carpet and say "Sit down, Daddy" in perfect southern English?! Just making sure - we continue.

Animals - your favorite book. I turn the page, I ask you "What's that", and you butcher the names of 52 of God's creatures. Here we go! (with translations)

- What's that?
- Wa-urss. (walrus)

- What's that?
- Ohk Puss. (octopus)

- What's that?
- Pinginburd. (penguin bird)

- What's that?
- Cur baba do stark fur a lada COL STABA!!! (???)

Now would probably be the best time to explain (or rather, tell you what I've observed - there is no explanation) the animal names of one Mr. Taylor Whitman Gray. First of all, Brooke dominates the exercise. Combine that with Whit's shy nature, and you normally have to work to get him involved - otherwise he is perfectly fine with listening to his sister have all the fun. But once you do get him started, you are in for A TREAT. There are animals that he names with the most perfect anunciation that I have never in my life heard him speak of. I can only imagine the countless times he's listened intently and how he must've said the words over and over again in his mind. Other times, well, let's say he just tells us a little story of his own. Take "Cur baba do stark fur a lada col staba", for instance. Daddy had pointed to a pig. He wasn't babbling - I pointed and asked again with an identical response. Apparently, he had something to say about that pig, and I hope he tells me again someday. Ok, back to story time.

We've made it nearly three-quarters of the way through, and there's no sign of slowing.

- What's that?
- Effunt (elephant)

- What's that?
- A SAKE! (a snake)
- That's right! What's a snake say?
- SSSHSHSSHSS!!!

- What's that?
- ssurll (squirrel)

- What's that?
- russer! errerrerrrrrrr.... (rooster, and no hesitation with the sound)

Ok, skip a few pages... but I get caught. Now the questioning turns to me.

- Wassat Daddy?
- Uh... dinosaur!
- Disarr!

- And, what's that? (No, mommy - ssshhhh!)
- Wassat Daddy? (too late)
- Uh... lizard (flip page and pray)

- What's that?
- Wah lizzr go?
- Lizard's gone - what's that?
- Ont (want) lizzr Daddy. (flip page back)

- There's the lizard - say night-night lizard (flip page)

- What's that?
- Wah lizzr Daddy? Ont lizzr.

In retrospect, I can't even remember what I did to make her forget that lizard - I'd probably be pretty smart if I could remember half the things that have worked along the way, but I guess most the fun is in the trial and error. I do remember how she pitched a fit that would not be resolved until mommy agreed to swaddle her baby doll. I don't remember even seeing him after his pig definition - and he was sitting right in front of me. Just another blur of the past two years passed by.